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In this article we shall take a quick glance at the role and responsibility of a wife, and what would help a woman to follow the path of dharma, as explained by Jagadguru Puri Shankaracharyaji. Some obstacles in the current scenario that exists in Bharat, are also addressed briefly.
When a daughter is educated, she must be educated in an away that she will be a daughter-in-law someday. Similarly, the daughter of another home comes to our home as a daughter-in-law. As soon as she marries, if she tries to create issues, then it’s a problem. Some women think that if they are working and earning, they must not be devoted to the husband. Here, we must remember that all issues are related to the modern “marriage” and not our sacred “vivah” which is a samskara. A Hindu marriage or vivah it is not some kind of economic transaction between husband and wife. It is a dharmic relationship. Women are “dharma patni”. The relation of husband-wife was sacred and a bond that lasts through several births to attain Paramatma. You can read more here.
Now the current scenario is an explosion born out of the destruction of our traditions and viewing Matri shakti as a an object of lust. People are drawn to such a destructive thinking and turning wicked. By encouraging arousing representation of women, the society is also making money. The communist view is that one who commits to a woman or a man for life is as foolish as the one who walks with a water bottle hanging in his neck. It is surprising that the Supreme Court has declared that adultery by married women is not a crime and that homosexuality is acceptable. These declarations were made by a very high authority who is very religious and does a lot of bhajan, etc. Dalai Lamaji also accepted this thing of homosexuality. In a country where such things are mentioned by Court, what would be our condition? This is a sacrifice of modesty and love. Our blood boils but we try that we get a govt as per our culture, laments Jagadguru.
Today, there is talk about “equal rights” for women, but the truth is that Sanatana dharma provides “special rights” for women. The mother has the final say in the matters of her children. This has been shared through the story of Mata Kaushalya and Bhagavan Rama under the title “privilege of motherhood” in this article.
Two world wars – Mahabharata and Ramayana were fought to protect the modesty of women who were indeed divine avataras of Devi (Draupadi Devi & Ma Sita). This is the kind of respect Hindus give to women, as can be read in detail in the previous articles of the series – The Postition of Women in Sanatana Dharma and, A Mother.
Here, we shall be expanding on the topic of a married woman or ardhangini.
The words “pati” (husband) and “patni” (wife) are of immense significance. The word used for women in the Upanishads is “jaaya” – the one through whom, the pati takes birth as a son. The father becomes a son, through his patni. The woman, being blessed by the husband, gives birth to herself in the form of her daughter. The word “patni” is used for the one who is a partner in performing yajna and other sacred rituals. In families which are authorized to perform yajna, women sit on the right side during the ritual, while otherwise they sit to the left of the husband. The man can then become free from the debt of his ancestors and devas. Without a wife, no auspicious activity can be done.
The power of a dharma patni or wife is such that even if her husband goes to hell due to his bad karmas, as per the Atharva Veda, she can bring him out of that hell with the strength that comes with being a virtuous devoted wife (pativrata).
Devi Savitri was not a pujari. However, by following her husband, she was able to please Yamraj and save his life. That is the power of a pious wife. Being devoted to husband can elevate women spiritually.
Today, people say that matas have been made the “jute ki dhool” of husbands (are at a very lowly position). This is totally wrong. Manu Maharajaji has said that Ma Lakshmiji resides in homes where devis are happy and are given comfort. Where women are disrespected, poverty will come.
Female infanticide, dahej, abortion, objectification if women, exploitation, etc, are all issues of modern times, they are not as per culture or connected to the Sanatani institute of marriage that is sacred in nature. This must be remembered.
Shukra niti says that if a husband pressurises his wife and abuses her unfairly, he should be punished. Same way, if a father tortures a son or pains him, a Guru abuses a student or a boss pressurises a worker unfairly, punishment is to be given.
In our culture women are sahdharmini, sahbhagini, and ardhangini. Shivji is worshiped as Ardhnarishvar. Bhagavan Krishna is worshipped as half Radhaji and half Shri Krishna.
Our shastras even say that when a woman gives birth to a son/daughter, while in behaviour she will be a wife, but from within the honour offered to her is of a mother by the husband.
Bhagavan Shiva was in agony carrying Sati Devis body. That is the kind of love and deep connection between husband-wife.
When there were talks about triple talaq, a very important person from the community (Gurudev hints towards an authority figure in Islam), said that women must be respected in your culture (indicating towards Hindus) but for them (Musalmans) women are considered as objects of lust (bhog ki pitari). They never see women as “matri shakti” but as those who can give pleasure, he said. While, Sanatani culture believes in matri devo bhava.
Five Musalman women raised their voice against 1400-year-old unfair practice of triple talaq and succeeded in ending it. These women got the strength and courage to take this bold step due to the respect Hindu women have in Bharat.
Now that we have had an overview of the important position of a wife, we shall have a look at the responsibility she has, and her path towards moksha.
Responsibility of the Ardhangini
For all – men, women, any ashram or varna the goal in Sanatana dharma is to attain Bhagavan. Thus, one must engage in activities that are favourable and not opposing this ultimate attainment.
Women must fulfil their responsibilities. Like they are seen as a symbol of Mother Goddess “matri devo bhava’, in same way husband is seen as God. Pati or husband is Parmeshwar-like for women.
If the husband is nastika, the wife must try and help to remove such a quality with his permission. In the end, all must fulfil their responsibilities and do their duties as per shastras to pave the path towards Parameshwara, Bhagavan.
Savitri did not do Gayatri mantra but protected her husband from Yamaraj. She got all this power and respect from Yamaraj due to her tapasya and devotion to husband. She revived her husband from death. This is the value of being devoted to a husband.
Bhagavan Vishnu, in His divine lila, fears the strength of a pativrata (a pious wife) even more than brahmin.
A simple path for attaining spiritual power for women is through serving their husbands and Bhagavan. A good husband connects himself and his wife with Bhagavan. One must follow the life of a householder or grihastha but knowing that all is created by Bhagavan and being directed towards Him through bhajan, puja etc. Householders may worship tulsi, bel patra, etc. The family must together do arti together, have discussions and clear misunderstandings. The environment of the home must be made like Ram Rajya.
Whatever auspicious activities are done by the husband, half of them come to the wife. The fruit of the bhajan and other dharmic activities done by the wife, do not come to the husband. The husband gets the share of the sins done by the wife because he was too weak to discipline his wife.
If every woman fulfils the responsibility assigned to her, she will have great attainment. But leaving our responsibilities and trying to undertake the responsibility of others, will not land us anywhere.