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Today, it is not uncommon for people to look down upon the role of a “housewife”. These are unfortunate times when the centre of our nourishment – the home and family are happily neglected and individualism, ideologies like feminism, corporate slavery and the urge to hoard material riches have taken priority. This article is an eye-opener to the vicious cycle we are setting for ourselves due to our skewed thinking, and its recognition is the first step to encourage us to bring about a shift in our lives. Jagadguru Puri Shankaracharyaji helps us learn more about the central role of a woman in a family, and have a closer look at what unfolds when this role is distorted, discarded or neglected.
Traditionally, women have been given full charge of the home or household. They head the “home ministry” while men take care of “foreign affairs” by going out to work.
The meaning of the word “grihani” (used for wife) is “grihamantrī” – minister of the home. The entire responsibility of the household from praying to devis and devatas, welcoming guests, and ensuring that children are brought up in the most orderly way is on the lady of the house.
A common thought today is – if husband and wife both are employed, then why must the wife be devoted to the husband or take care of the home?
We wish to have a home but no one to look after it.
Unfortunately, there is an understanding that the wife must be devoted towards the husband and take care of the house only if she is financially dependent on him, and not otherwise. This makes the relationship of marriage an economic relationship and not a dharmika one as sanctioned by the vedas and shastras. It is a communist point of view that bases the relationship on economics.
It is a different case when there is a financial compulsion and both husband and wife have to work to make their ends meet. However, if it is out of leisure or such views, that such choices are made, even from a psychological perspective it is the road to hell.
Jagadguru Puri Shankaracharyaji says that in current times, women do not wish to stay in charge of the home and instead wish to be playing the same role as men. Then who will take care of the home? What will happen to the children when the mothers are also at work?
Below are some struggles that are faced when women are unable to take care of the home and children:
Upbringing of Children
When both parents are working the children will be brought up by maids and servants. From the point of view of psychology, this is quite harmful and makes the children irritable. Homes are destroyed this way since children do not get the love and attention they need and when they grow up, they do not take care of their parents.
Despite being wealthy, these children would grow up as orphans. Neither the mother nor the father have time to educate and nurture their children or to pass on the right values.
The above situation is similar to the West and also exists amongst birds and animals. They have only a limited time of sustaining the relationship of a couple or of that of parenthood. Do we wish to make human life the same way?
The woman bears her child for nine months. She has the maximum influence on the children. If the mother and father both are balanced and strong, the outcome would be good. Regardless, the mothers influence is maximum on children and it is her duty to guide children for attaining success materially and spiritually, showing them the path to attain Paramatma.
Post retirement
From a worldly point of view, when both husband and wife are retired, then who will take care of whom since both are receiving pension. Similarly, when children and their wives are also working why should they be obliged to serve the parents or parent-in-laws since from an economic point of view they are all independent.
Who shall take care of the parents?
In old age, this would lead to a life spent in old age homes or by taking support of maids and servants.
After death
Why would sons’ perform shraddha or tarpana rituals (to pay respect to ancestors)? They have earned their living with their own hard work.
How shall the system of inheritance be protected?
Everything shall be lost.
Thus, as per the dharmika path, roles for husband and wife are designed in way to uplift us and help us follow a path that can take us towards moksha through grihasthashrama. This brings us back to the value of the role of a woman in household which is an important centre of nourishment for the family unit and ultimately, society.
Going through the above points, it is clear how the role of a woman, as “home minister” is so crucial for us in order to survive the vicious onslaught of foreign ideologies that are attempting to destroy our ancient sanatani civilization by ruining the role of women in Hindu society.