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The following ways are suggested by Pujyapad Puri Shankaracharyaji, to recognise our Ishta devta, or that deity who we deeply and intimately feel connected with.
Through Kula Devata
Traditionally, we had kula devis and devatas or deities connected with families. If we are born in a particular family, then we are introduced to our kula devi or devata from birth itself. The role of our Ishta is played by our family deity.
For those who have lost connect or knowledge of family kula devis/devatas, the suggestion is to pray to our Ishta to connect us to our kula devata via dream or when we are alone via akashvani. With blessings of our Ishta, we will be guided.
Personal attraction
There are times when we might be attracted to a particular deity from our childhood itself, and not our kula devi/devata. Also, there are situations where are kula devi-devatas are not known (this is not uncommon). In such situations, the deity who we are naturally drawn to, due to influence of our past life sadhana, takes the role of our Ishta. This deity could be one of the five, following main deities, or their avataras (as based on shastras) : Surya, Vishnu, Shiva, Bhagavati, Gaṇapati.
Our Ishta could be the avatara for Vishnu Bhagavan like Rama or Krishna, could be the avatara of Shiva in the form of Hanuman, and so on.
Our nature and lines on forehead
Based on the nature of a person, one can recognise his Ishta. Also, people have marks on their forehead since childhood. Some have three horizontal lines like Shaivas, some have vertical lines as Vaishnavas, some have bindi like Shaktas and some have a mix of these naturally occurring formations on the forehead. These indicate our past birth’s sadhana too and could also direct us to our Ishta in this life.
The mantra diksha we receive from Pujyapad Puri Shankaracharyaji, as per the traditional system is that of our Ishta devi/devata.