Before you read this article, please note that these are some growing bitter realities (while not common yet, hopefully) of urban India that must be tackled by Hindu society. The examples given are not meant to offend anyone and are in the best interest of both men and women. These are not generalizations but the worst-case scenarios and possibilities that unfold by following Western trends of feminism and woke culture that is rapidly growing in India.
“My daughters have made me so proud that I never missed having a son,” says a mother of two daughters before them.
“Beta, you must succeed. You are better than the boys and not just equal to them,” says a father, motivating his daughter who he is addressing with the term “beta”, used for a son.
The above are commonly heard statements amongst Hindus. On a careful look, you can observe how these statements give the impression that the parents do consider men to be more superior to women in some way. This subtle message is picked up easily by the girl child who is at an impressionable age.
Calling the girl child “beta” is the first mistake parents make. This is extremely damaging and destroys the confidence of girls. They start feeling inferior to boys from a very young age, developing unhealthy coping mechanisms, denying themselves the expression of their own feminine nature.
As per Sanatana tradition, the girl child is to be considered the form of Devi Bhagavati, just as a boy child is to be considered as Bal Gopala. With the disconnect from traditions, such values are unheard of or are disregarded and instead, an inferiority complex is instilled in the mind of young girls.
As girls with the above experience start growing up into young women, with every milestone the realisation that they are different from men, hits them harder. Simple life processes like that of the onset of menstruation to the growth of breasts, and interaction with the opposite gender, add the burden of witnessing and even emotionally feeling, the glaring difference from men. They wish to be the “beta” their parents want them to be.
More than often, self-confidence is impacted hugely, and young women end up feeling weak and helpless. They tend to witness entire society through the lens of women being inferior to men. The desire to become “equal” to men rises further, accompanied with some kind of subtle and superficial dislike or competitive spirit towards men. At this point, typically, comes the protest against marriage and family which is viewed as a construct that is somehow against women.
Often women in big cities, to be like men of their age (who do not necessarily set a great example, either), enter the mindless dating culture, asserting sexual freedom, and, maybe even engaging in activities that are destructive for both men and women but are associated more with men (like smoking, drinking, drugs, etc). Depending on individual nature/place/company, this phase also pushes some women heavily into building a career through which they earn very well and establish themselves as leaders in various fields. Sometimes all the above aspects exist together. Women from small towns, like young men of their family, do leave for big cities too in pursuit of better career options or higher studies and if accompanied with a similar inferiority complex, are vulnerable to all the risks existing in the cosmopolitan cities.
The largest common factor amongst all these women described above, is often emotional distress. To keep a strong masculine front, they kill their natural emotions, softer nurturing qualities and feminity. This coping mechanism for them started as a little girl who has to live up to being the shining “beta” of her parents.
Owing to the lack of genuine self-esteem, and deep regret for the existence of natural desires of seeking a male partner and having children, many women fall prey to western feminism and woke ideas, which they often start leading others into too. It is almost as if the crumbling Hindu family is offering their daughters to these destructive ideologies.
These young women are often operating from a space of emotional imbalance (at times even clinical in nature), and not wanting to have committed relationships out of sheer disgust for the institute of marriage itself or out of fear of having to adjust to a man and his family, etc. Some are clear about only wanting to focus on their career. However, nature compels women to seek men just like men seek women. To fulfil this, temporary alliances seem to be their best suited option. Due to their bold declarations asserting some kind of power and strength, the struggling women do not “give into” a natural and healthy female tendency of wanting strong male presence, marriage and family, leaving room for abusive relationships and physical exploitation by men seeking temporary pleasures. Who does such feminism serve in the end?
Since boys are not to cry, these girls do not shed a tear unless in the arena of dating which remains the only place for the expression for some female qualities, unfortunately for them. Being the most unstable and unsafe space for feminine expression, this brings the entry of another vicious cycle of pain and trauma – abusive relationships.
The vicious endless cycle of being single or having several stressful relationships makes the women more averse to men, while at the same time desiring them and feeling hopeless. As women enter their late 30s and 40s, male attention declines and the ability to marry goes away with the harmful baggage and often set ways that they are carrying. A woman going through such a traumatic life realises in her middle age that she has been objectified, left lonely, is unwanted, and has missed the boat of having a good man as well children. While, she may be earning well, travels all over the world, is independent, famous and is respected for her accomplishments. Her pain is deep and silent. It would only be immense blessings of past karma, that her misery would end at such a stage. Would hope that women who endure such immense suffering due to the callousness of society and ignorance, are healed.
The price to pay for the pursuit of being “beta” can be a heavy one in the growing woke environment so make sure you feel grateful for having Devi Bhagavati take birth in your home as your daughter and guide her in a way that she flourishes and fulfils the purpose of her with the values that truly empower and bless her and, everyone around.
Recommended read: Male, Female & the Third Gender